2 week... i nv blog... soon on 22 sept after my work i call my consellor kelly lee for an appointment and she ask me to go down to her clinic for a consultation... this is the first time i go for counseling. Her name card was given by my doctor last time when i was sick and the doctor say i was under slightly depression but I nv go.

i have already gone for 5 session already.. through out all this i was having a mentally disorder which is mentally break down. i noe all of u will think that is like crazy or wat... but it is like u think too much but in a negative way.. and think abt all the thing around u that u r involved.

the first session the doctor ask me wat i have done last month... so i just tell her wat i can remember.. and the causes of my this illness is on the 7th month i heard something uneven and i was really scare and the day is where i have gone out with my friend for a farewell party and on the way home i heard some ppl whisperiing to me through my ear saying "YOU GUAI AR" mean "there a ghost!!!" i was panick and terrified and i use all my might to run home and when i was on the pathway a trisaw man is cycling toward me and when i saw that man, his eyeball.... don wish to tok much here as i nv blog abt this inccident coz i don wanna scare ppl..

after this inccident i will tremble at the very though of it. The agitation in my own heart and own mind disturb the energies around me including all the thing i was worry.. part of it is money as i need money for skool fee, expenses... i will not actually stressed abt money all time as money is alwis a unessential thing... but since then i keep thinking too much even to the extend of the surround of my eye. everything that concern... as i also told kelly abt the friendship problem i have... she say that i was too much concern for this friend that y i will treated her this way and i don noe that i have this illness... as shu say that she want go aus to find jojo but i have no $$$ as i will think i'm burden to her and i am the 1 who is avoiding her care.. i neglected her feeling when i heard this i feel vr sad.. i really hope she will forgive me and understand my situation at that time... and i was under medication... sleeping pill for me as i have insomia which i close my eye but my mind is still working, librium for me to calm down, and should only be taken for a short period of time. coz if use these drugs regularly for a long period of time, it might develop a tolerance. That means you will have to take more of the same pills to get the desired result. the doctor also ask me to do exercise often as to increasing my physical activity may help decrease anxiety.

the second session, the doctor say i am much better already... when she talk to me she feel that i am happy... coz i have been doing exercise and housework after my work and off day and i oli tell donavan and my sister abt it. and of course their encourage is important to me... and kelly ask me to keep it up... but i am still dwelling abt friendship.. i really don mean to turn our friendship to be like this...
and the doctor say i no need to take sleeping pill anymore as i noe how to control my mind already.. she prescribe me a valium medicine as this is slightly medicine for me to calm down.

the third and fourth session go on... it's still the same...

the fifth session... i have think through already... y am i under all this thing which i no need to stressed for... i have tell my mummy after the second session as she really take care of me very well... most of my time was spent with her during weekend.. she bring me to pray.. she bring me out to shop and wanted to buy thing for me but i nv buy... and donavan bring me out to shopping as well and eat good food and all their concern and care, all the worries make me realised that they have encourage me alot and it's time for me to wake up!!! i will not make them worry for me... and of course all my friend which have encourage me, i will not dissapointed them too.. jojo, sylvia,xin yi.... i going to be a happy-go-lucky girl again and of course to a much better person... i want to be happy... i want my life to be colourful.... and yes, i will...

thank to dr kelly for her full attention to me. she had given me the lesson of a lifetime. Calm down, bring my mind down and make my heart peacefully. How simple. How relentlessly illusive.

Today i have gone shopping to shop for shu present and jojo is sharing with me..^^ and i bought a bag $129.90 and shirt $29.90 and jie jie is paying $50 buck for my birthday present^^.. bought a shirt for xin yi $19.90... total damage today for esprit $161.73... i have a discount of 10% as i have spent over $150 and i can be a member worz...can borrow the card from me.^^

still thinking how to pass the present to her... and wonder how she was doing now?

ps: Nervous conditions or anxiety are often caused by changes in a person physical, financial, and personal life. as we need to control our own mind and our own heart..

YYY
S * A * N * D * Y
11:57 pm

Born to Be...
♥Sandy Tan
♥Libra
♥ 19 Oct 1987
♥Optismistic
♥ Cheerful
♥Friendly
♥Spoilt
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